One Stupid Potion
by LadyofStarClan
Summary: When the Master enters from a mysterious crack, the Doctor's life becomes more complicated, but when the Doctor accidently asks for a redo, the Rani comes in with a green elixir. What does it do? And why does it change all three Time Lords into children when it exploded on them? Turns into a kid!fic. Takes place in the Stolen Earth.
1. Three Children

**Guys, seriously, I own nothing. Takes place in the Stolen Earth where all of the companions are in the same room with Davros and the Daleks. Also, sorry if the beginning is a little sucky; I really didn't know how to start this one.**

The Doctor, the Metacrisis, and Donna were all standing in the same room with all of the Daleks exploding around them. It may have been just the sheer force of it all, but things change. And so must the Time Lords.

A crack glowed in the wall. A crack in time and space. A crack that didn't belong there. Two pieces of the universe that should never touch, touching right there in the same room as them, and no one noticed it.

That was, until it started spouting out random things.

At first, it was just a simple box. It was made out of wood with different designs across the side.

"Doctor," Martha was looking at the box. "Where did that come from?"

The Doctor looked down at the box that was now currently residing on the floor. "It can't be." he looked at the crack. "Everyone behind me!"

"Why? What is that?" Rose looked at crack while going behind the Doctor.

"It a crack in time and space. To pieces of the universe that should have never have touched." that was the metacrisis. I'll just call him John.

The next item that came out of the crack was much more dangerous. Much more dangerous indeed.

It wasn't an it. It was a he. He had blond hair and a familiar face.

"It's him!" Martha cried. "It's the Master!"

"Who's this Master fellow?" Jackie asked.

"The Master's the Doctor's rival Time Lord. They've been at each other's throats for about seven regenerations for the Doctor." Sarah-Jane informed.

"I thought the Doctor said he was the last Time Lord." Rose stated.

"That's what he thought, but the Master was hiding at the end of the universe." Jack explained.

"Hello? Master?" the Doctor was looking down at the Master, for he hadn't moved yet.

The Master jumped up. "Doctor,"

"You died," the tenth regeneration of the Doctor looked at him in amazement.

"I know you think I did, but you are as clueless as you were for my 87th birthday." the Master smirked.

"What happened on this Master fellow's 87th birthday?" Jackie raised an eyebrow.

"It was the most epic birthday party ever!" the blond Time Lord cheered.

"What?" the Doctor looked confused.

"You wouldn't know. You were going insane in the bathroom." the Master smirked.

"What happened to you? Why are you not trying to kill us yet?" Martha felt brave today.

"Shush child, listen to your Master," the blond had an evil moment.

"Never mind, I know where that side went," the human doctor looked away, hiding a little bit more.

"I was locked in the bathroom the entire time!" the Doctor's eyes flared.

"That's because the doorknob broke, and don't think I didn't find the will you wrote on toilet paper." the Master snickered.

"What?" the brunette looked confused.

The Master cleared his throat. "To my beloved brother Brax, you can have my school books. I never wanted them anyway. To my pet Solli, there are some rotten chips under my bed. You can go ahead and eat them. To my mother, I give you all that money I took from you when I was five. To my father, you can have my prototype sonic screwdriver. It may not be perfect yet, but I still want you to have it."

"Doctor! I never knew you had it in you!" Jack wiggled his eyebrows.

"Stop it," John narrowed his eyes.

"Urgh," the Doctor frowned. "I would give so much to get a redo for that."

A sudden burst of wind blew through the room.

"What's going on?" Rose demanded.

"Doctor, why did you have to say that?" the Master frowned. "Incoming TARDIS!" he bellowed.

"What?" the Doctor was still confused.

"But the TARDIS is over there!" Sarah-Jane pointed.

"It's not the Doctor's!" Donna informed.

"Rani!" that was the Master.

By now, there was a triangular pyramid thing in the middle of the room.

"That's a great disguise," the Doctor rolled his eyes.

"It's better than your's!" the Master informed.

"That's really rude!"

"Boys!" that was when a figure exited the triangular pyramid.

"Rani," the Master started backing up.

"Everyone stay behind us!" the Doctor winced.

"Why? Who is she?" Mickey asked.

"She's the Rani. A Time Lady." the Master informed.

"Doctor," Rose backed up some. "I don't think you are as alone as you thought."

"Did you want a redo?" the Rani held up a swirling green elixir.

"You're going to kill yourself making those things," the Master warned.

"Not if they work," the Rani was clearly eager. "All I need to do is pour this on you people, and I you get a redo!"

"What sort of redo?" Jack questioned.

"Just a little something that will reverse their age by 900 years!" the Rani smirked.

She was clearly excited. Her hand was shaking, she had a smirk on her face, and her grip was tightening on the vial.

Tightening and tightening.

"Look out!" John yelled.

But it was too late. The Rani's grip tightened, and the vial shattered.

The green liquid instantly covered the three Gallifreyans.

"Doctor?" Martha asked.

There was a poof, and only the clothes belonging to the three Gallifreyans remained. Underneath, there were little lumps...almost like children.

"What happened?" Rose demanded.

"Rosie," Jack looked up from the three lumps. "I think everyone here will need to learn parenting a little early."

**Please tell me what you think in a review! What do you want to happen? Review!**


	2. Waking Up

**I own nothing!**

"Oh my god," Rose swallowed a little.

"She turned the all into bloody children!" Jackie screeched.

"No cursing around children," Jack teased.

"Who's going to get them?" Martha decided to speak up.

"I'll get the Doctor!" Rose volunteered.

"Oh, Rose," the immortal man with a plan wiggled his eyebrows. "Is there a reason you chose Doc?"

"Shut up," the pink and yellow human picked up the bundle of the Doctor's clothes. "I just chose the Doctor because I didn't know the other two."

"Anything else?" Jack pressed.

"I thought I told you to shut up?" Rose stuck her tongue out.

"Metacrisis Doctor! That's a long name!" Mickey frowned.

"Call me John," the Metacrisis shrugged.

"Okay, John, can you get one of them? Preferably the Rani because no one else knows her?" Mickey crossed his fingers.

"If I get blown up while doing this, you're paying for my funeral." John warned while scooping up the kid version of the Rani.

"Right," he gulped.

"Who's getting the Master?" Martha questioned.

Everyone looked to Jack.

"What?" the immortal man inquired. "Is there something on my amazing face?"

"No, pick up the Master!" Rose sighed.

"Okay," Jack prepared himself to die again.

He scooped the remaining Time Lord up, and to much of his relief, nothing blew up in his face.

"To the TARDIS?" Sarah questioned.

"Leave us!" that was Davros. Wow, he's quiet for a while.

"Davros!" Mickey jumped five feet in the air.

"To the TARDIS!" Jackie led the way.

Once they were all in the TARDIS, and the TARDIS was safe in the Time Vortex, they sat down in the library of the TARDIS.

"What are we going to do with them?" Rose gestured to the three sleeping Gallifreyans in clothes that were way too big for them.

"Well, I guess we have to figure out their ages. How old was the Doctor before this whole incident?" Sarah inquired.

Everyone looked at John and Donna.

"908, give or take," they said in unison.

"What about the Master?" Martha looked to the two Doctor-like humans.

"It depends on what time period he is from, but if he is that size," John indicated to how small the Master was. "The kid Master looks to be the same size that he was when he was 13, so the Master before the incident was 913."

"The Rani?" Rose knew she probably wasn't going to get an answer.

"Her size is the same as it was when she was 12. Before the incident, she was 912." it was Donna's turn.

"How did they...behave at that age?" Jackie was looking forward to some parenting.

"The Rani liked to mix chemicals in a lab, the Master liked to prank the Doctor, and the Doctor liked to read." John stated from memory.

"The Master and the Doctor knew each other?" Martha looked bewildered.

"They were best friends." the look-alike Doctor shrugged.

"How was their...insanity level?" the human doctor didn't want an insane Master trying to kill her in a young teenage body.

"All three of them were the most insane children in all of Prydon Academy," John had an evil smile.

That was when one of the lumps started to stir. It was the one in the Master's pile of clothes.

"I'm not getting him!" Martha literally jumped when she saw him.

"Hey, we don't know how he was back then. Let's give him a clean slate." Jack gestured cooly.

"All right," the human doctor gave in, still a little untrusting.

"If they ever change back, they could be besties again for all we know!" the immortal man put his hands in the air.

"Since I'm fairly certain that Jackie and I have the most parenting experience, we'll go first!" Sarah volunteered.

"Fantastic!" John smirked, and Rose laughed.

The Master's pile of clothes wiggled some more, and suddenly a head broke through the neck whole. But he didn't have the blond hair the current regeneration of the Master had. He had dark brown; icy blue eyes were showered by a mess of almost black hair.

"Hello!" Jackie cheered.

"Who are you people?" the kid proposed.

"I'm Jackie,"

"Rose,"

"Martha,"

"Mickey,"

"John,"

"Sarah,"

"Donna,"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness, and you are?"

"Stop it!" John had a horrified look on his face. "Do even know what level of gross that is on?"

"No clue," Jack shrugged.

"I'm Koschei!" the kid cheered.

"Is that your name?" Martha asked.

"No, it's a nickname. Gallifreyans are only supposed to tell their names to the love of their life as a sort of proposal for marriage." Koschei shrugged.

"So, it's just like 'Let's get married! No, we have to actually tell each other our names for the first time ever!'!" Jack imitated.

"Yeah," the young Gallifreyan boy frowned.

That was when the Rani shot up. "Coming, Mom!" she accidently let slip out while she was on her way up.

"Who are you people?" she questioned.

They groaned but ran through the list again.

"What's your nickname?" Jackie inquired.

"Ushas!" she cheered.

"Hold on, where is Theta?" Koschei looked at the pile of pinstriped clothes. "He's no where to be seen."

"You know he was a short kid!" Ushas hit him on the head but laughed.

"Who's Theta?" Mickey questioned.

All they did was point towards the pile of clothes.

"Oh," they got it now.

"Well, technically, his full nickname is Theta Sigma, but we all found that too long. We now have a nickname for the nickname." Ushas giggled.

Koschei then tapped the female Gallifreyan on the shoulder.

"Yes?" she turned towards Koschei.

He only whispered something quiet enough for only Ushas to hear.

"All right,"

The companions weren't really sure what happened. All they could see was a blond kid sitting straight up glaring at the female.

"What the fuck was that for?" the blond demanded, slapping the female in the face.

"Koschei! Theta's being mean!" Ushas whined.

"He's always mean when he wakes up," Koschei supplied comfort.

This made the companions more confused. Why would the eight year old form of the Doctor curse?

"What's your name?" Jack questioned.

"Theta Sigma, but please call me Theta. My nickname is too long." the blond boy smiled.

Okay, let's get this right. The Master had blond hair before, but now he has dark brown. The Rani had long brown hair before, but now it's the same color only short and curly. The Doctor was tall and a brunette, but now he was short and a blondie.

"I think we should get them some clothes," Sarah mentioned. "Clothes that fit."

"Aw," only Jack would say that.

"Come on," Rose picked up Theta with his old clothes wrapped around him. "Let's get you changed."

Jack decided it would be wise to stay quiet this time.

Jackie ended up picking up Koschei, and Sarah got Ushas.

Only destruction can reign in the huge closet belonging to the TARDIS now.

**Review! Tell me what you think!**


	3. They Were Not Expecting This

**I own nothing! I've also decided to start answering reviews. Here we go:**

**...**

**Amazing, yeah? I thought so too. No reviews. :(**

**I still own nothing.**

While Rose, Jackie, and Sarah were trying to find something for the mini Gallifreyans to wear; the others were sitting in the library, listening to the crashing sounds of the chaos in the changing rooms.

Crash.

"I really think we should go check up on them," Martha winced as she heard the sounds of struggle.

"The Space Men should be fine," Donna shrugged.

"The are not Space Men! Not only is Ushas a girl, but they are Gallifreyans! They are not Space People, Martians, or anything of the sort!" John pouted. "Technically speaking, their proper title is a Time Tot."

"What does that mean?" Jack was interested now.

"What?" the Metacrisis Doctor looked at the immortal man like he was crazy.

"You said it! What does 'Time Tots' mean?" Jack questioned.

"That is the title for Gallifreyans either at the Academy or before the Academy. After the exit the Academy, they are either known as citizens or Time Lords. It depends on their grades; if a Gallifreyan were to fail everything, they would be a normal citizen. Only Gallifreyans who pass with flying colors are known as Time Lords." John stated proudly.

"So the Doctor passed?" Mickey raised an eyebrow.

"Weren't you listening?" Donna frowned.

"The Doctor, the Master, the Rani, and seven other Gallifreyans were part of the Deca! The Deca is composed of the ten smartest tots in the Academy sorted by their grades!" the Metacrisis exploded.

"Who sorted them?" Jack expressed.

"The school administrator." Donna sighed. "All of the Time Tot's grades were sorted like they sort the grades in Japan."

"So, all of the grades were out in the open?" the immortal man checked.

"Of course!" the ginger shot up.

"That must have been so embarrassing for the one who got last..." Jack suppressed his laughter.

"What were the Doctor's, the Master's, and the Rani's places?" Mickey was interested.

John frowned. "The Rani had second, the Master third, and the Doctor fifth."

"So, ask Ushas for the most reliable answers?" he was laughing now.

"Shut up!" the Metacrisis Doctor's cheeks were burning by now. "I beat millions of other students! Including Mr. Mortimus. He was so stuck up with sixth place." he stuck out his tongue.

"You act like a child." Martha frowned. "Leave that for the actual children!"

Crash.

Bang.

Snap.

"We really should check on them," the human doctor frowned.

Then, they started hearing yelling from the changing room.

"WHAT IS THIS? THESE ARE WEIRD CLOTHES! SOL 3? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? GIVE ME GALLIFREYAN ROBES ANY DAY!" it was Koschei. Of course.

"Gallifreyan robes?" Jack covered his laugh by coughing.

"That was just the style of clothing. Did you expect every species to wear the same things as you guy? Honestly, no one else does; you are just weird." John scowled.

"But you don't run around in them!" the immortal man actually laughed this time.

"I used to," the Metacrisis was in an apparent state of nostalgia.

That was when some very frustrated humans and Gallifreyans marched in

"There were, like, no Gallifreyan robes." Koschei frowned.

"How do you people run around in these things? I couldn't even decipher which hole was for the head," Theta complained.

Ushas was perfectly fine with it. "If you guys would study once in a while, you might understand that not every species have the same clothing as us. You must except their style while being polite," she glowered over Theta, who was about two heads shorter.

"Theta, you just got locomoted!" Koschei burst out laughing.

The blond only glared at him. "It applies to you, too, Mr. I wanted Gallifreyan robes. At least I didn't attack anyone."

Koschei only rolled his eyes. "But it applied to you, too. I'm still allowed to say it even if it applies to me, too, Mr. I'm so stoic that I sometimes want to murder poor innocent Koschei."

"Sometimes you forget that my father is the head of the Gallifreyan armed forces," Theta frowned. "You would die in one second if I wanted you dead."

"Your father isn't here," Martha looked confused.

"Who said I needed my father to do it?" the blond looked confused.

"I don't think you could beat me," the dark haired male stated confidently.

"Really?" Theta looked suspicious.

"Confident." Koschei smirked.

"Okay, then," the blond shot himself at the other male.

He was pinned down instantly.

"Surrender?" Theta had a slightly sadistic look in his eyes.

"Never," Koschei was still confident he could beat the shorter boy. He was much bigger than him! Theta was a midget.

"Suits you," the blond shrugged, bringing out a revolver.

"Where did you get that?" Rose demanded. "I didn't let you go anywhere near something that could cause anyone damage."

Theta looked at her seriously, the revolver at Koschei's head. "You don't want to know."

"I like that answer. Hey, does anyone think that the Doctor keeps one there too?" Jack looked excited. He didn't know the Doctor carried guns!

"NO!" that was the answer.

"I surrender now!" the dark haired Gallifreyan surrendered.

Theta got off of him. "You're going to forget in five seconds flat."

Ushas got in between the quarrelling two. "If you fight like this constantly, you're going to hate each other in the future.

Martha and Jack looked at each other. Oh.

None of them were expecting this.

**Can I have at least one review this time?**


	4. The Plan

**I own nothing!**

**Gakorogirl: Adults...children...no one really knows. ;)**

**The Daleks' Advocate: Yeah, I like to try to be different. Maybe give some people a new way to look at things...etc...**

**Guest: It may seem like there isn't a lot of planning now, but hopefully it will make more sense to you in the future! Also, I've read somewhere that they were older...but it's just a minor detail.**

**Parts of this may seem kind of random, but please pay attention to detail.**

Theta, Koschei, and Ushas were all sitting on one side of a long, rectangular table. On the other side of the surface, all of the companions were just staring at them. It was an intense match, each side would not look away from the other.

Finally, Jack spoke. "So, what has been up with you two?"

"Theta is about to go through Initiation." Ushas informed cheerfully. "But then we appeared here for no reason in weird clothes..." she looked confused now.

"What is Initiation?" Martha questioned.

"Initiation is when a Time Tot at the age of eight looks into the Untempered Schism-" the female Gallifreyan started.

"Why are you questioning us?" Theta asked.

"We just want to know more about you." Jack replied indignantly.

"Whatever," the Time Tot picked at a fraying hem in the tablecloth that covered the workspace.

"Theta's going through a tough time in his life," Koschei interrupted.

"What do you mean by that?" Rose looked concerned.

"Well, his brother became the unofficial ambassador to Gallifrey and left the planet." the dark haired boy explained.

"Oh,"

They were silent again.

"Do you think he'll come back?" this time Theta spoke up with, for once, not a mean tone in his voice.

"He'll definitely come back." Koschei nodded.

"Does this explain his behavior earlier?" Sarah did not approve of his rash behavior.

"Yes," Koschei and Ushas answered.

At the same time, a "No," came from Theta.

"Two out of three." Jack shrugged.

"I have a question!" Koschei stood up tall and raised his hand.

"Yes?" the companions looked generally startled.

"Are they gay?" he pointed to Mickey, the Metacrisis, and Jack.

Mickey looked insulted; Jack looked amused. The Metacrisis shifted away from them.

"Why would you say that?" Martha looked alarmed.

"Well, I learned that on Sol 3, gay people generally hang out with a group of the opposite gender." the dark haired boy stated proudly. **(AN: Please don't take offense to this!)**

"You could say that I'm bi," Jack grinned.

"I'm not gay!" Mickey still looked insulted.

Jack hushed his voice and crowded around the other companions. "Does that mean that the Doctor's gay?"

He got many hits to the head. May he rest in peace...

Until he pops back up again...

"How did he do that?" Ushas scuttled back as Jack popped up.

"Let's just say I can't die." Jack groaned. "Long story."

"That's wrong..." the female Gallifreyan tightened.

"I know..." the immortal man winced.

"Can you just drop us back at Gallifrey and give us our clothes back?" Koschei complained.

"Stop being rude," Ushas sucked in a breath.

"We didn't kidnap you, sweethearts." Jackie explained. "You just kind of appeared in the place of older Time Lords."

"That doesn't make much sense," the female appeared to be deep in thought. "What do you know for a fact that happened?"

"Well, a female Gallifreyan was intending to pour this green potion-like thing on two male Gallifreyans, but it exploded in her hand and all three of them were covered. When we could see again, you guys were in their places." Rose started.

"I'll have to do some research, but I think that you are describing a de-aging potion." Ushas grinned. "I know how to fix this, but we are going to have to get some very rare ingredients that could take a long time to collect."

"We better get started." John clapped his hands together.

Donna and John were facing each other in an instant.

"I'm going to drive!" they stated at the exactly same time.

This might take a while...

**Please review! I promise that this will make more sense later!**


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